You're Not as Funny as You Look

"You're so funny!"

I have heard this a few times in my life. To be honest, I don't think I am. I am not trying to be humble or beg for affirmation that I am indeed funny. I just really don't try to be humorous. If I were my friend, I would think I am annoying, if anything. I admit that I have my moments where I think I've said something golden, but for the most part, I don't put an effort into being a funny person.

If I am funny, I got it honest. Ask anyone who knew my father and they will tell you that he was an incredibly witty man. My mother is also quite comical, to the point of making me pee myself and literally black out for a few seconds. That's embarrassing now that I read it back, but it is true. I've always been surrounded by funny. My siblings are funny, my grandparents were funny, my Godfather was a riot, my aunt got "Wittiest" in high school.

Speaking of Class Superlatives, I was nominated for "Wittiest" my Senior year. (This is the part where anyone I graduated with lets out an incredible sigh and mumbles, "Hasn't she let this go already?").  When I lost, I was pretty peeved. It was my one shot as being remembered by my peers and I sure as heck wasn't getting any higher titles. I didn't strive to be funny, but I had to run with what I had so I thought that "Wittiest" was supposed to be mine. After I learned the news of defeat, I interrogated a kid on the yearbook staff into telling me that I had only lost by "a handful" of votes. I went around asking everyone if they voted for me, which was somewhat pathetic, but everyone said yes. Either everyone was lying or someone on the yearbook staff had a conspiracy against me. I'm convinced it was the former. At any rate, some of the people I asked told me they thought "Wittiest" had something to do with intelligence. I knew that if they believed that, I didn't earn their vote. I wasn't getting nominated for any sort of academic honor and obviously they weren't either if they didn't know the definition of "witty". I do wish at times that instead of hearing, "You're so funny!" that I could hear, "You're so intelligent. Explain quantum physics and the movie 'The Matrix' to me again, Susannah. " That would be a nice change.

Since I am not trying to be intentionally amusing, maybe I am just crazy. It's quite possible that I have a brain imbalance. I really do just say what pops into my head, without evaluating its funny factor before speaking it aloud. I recall riding around with a friend of mine and saying some off the wall thing that popped in my head. My friend literally did a Danny Thomas spit take all over my dashboard. For the first time I realized I had the ability to make a person spew a beverage out of their mouth and I was not proud- I was embarrassed and somewhat concerned about my mental state.

I don't want to come across as ungrateful. If God blessed me with wit and if the absurd things I say make you chuckle or brighten your day, then I am truly happy about that. Truly, truly. Maybe that's my little stamp of sunshine on this dreary world. I just want to make it clear that I do not intentionally try to be the funny girl. Because the funny girl is also usually the annoying girl and I go to great lengths to NOT be annoying. Funny is fun. Annoying is not. 

In the words of my beloved Woody Allen, "I think being funny is not anyone's first choice."